Realizing myself

        SIR, my thorough pleasure with my experience at your hands explained in narrative form!
        Fri, 2 Nov 2001 19:20:44 -0700
        "Noah" <>
        "MASTER JACK" <>

I write here of an adventure.  I am an experienced Master; the
adventure is my first experience as a bondage slave.  In my visit to my Master in the wilds of California I found the “beast” to be no tyrant; he was a benevolent commander, absolutely and thoroughly in control, but competent and trustworthy beyond my most optimistic expectations! 
And in that statement I have become a flatterer.  But my flattery is not spoken lightly; it comes from a man who is demanding of others and himself a competent commander.

Neither my name nor my location matter to this narrative.   What does matter is that I, an older man (late 60s), have been a Master for all of my sexually active adult life.  (And I will use the terms “Master” and “slave” with the understanding that “Top” and “bottom” could be substituted, if not precisely so.)   My life-partner is an equally experienced Master and, as we matured in years and ability, we found ourselves being sought out by prospective slaves.  The result was a slave training operation that operated for over fifteen years.  We were
privileged to have visitors from many parts of the United States and many foreign countries; most of these returned for repeat experiences and, though we are now semi-retired from full time slave training, no few of them still come for additional training. 

Of all aspects of that experience, we were most proud of the trust placed in us by the many slaves who literally placed their lives in our hands.  That trust was earned, not given; it was earned by our knowledge that we must be competent in what we were doing and that we must be deeply aware of the responsibilities we had as men in control of other men!  Without that trust, one of the prime dynamics of
the Master/slave relationship cannot occur: full consensual control of the slave by the Master and full freedom for the slave to gain enjoyment from his slavery.

With that background and at a late age, I found myself, for reasons I did not understand (but now am beginning to grasp), desiring to experience the “other side” of the Master/slave relationship, particularly those aspects of it involving physical restraint --- more precisely, bondage! 

Could I find a Bondage Master I could trust, one who would be thorough and competent yet having that sense of responsibility that would allow me to put myself in his hands without reservation?  After much searching, I found a man who seemed, from all I could learn about him beforehand, to be such a Bondage Master: Master Jack.  Several very
encouraging emails followed.  I completed his profile form.  Soon I found myself scheduled for my first 24-hour contractual period of bondage slavery!

I arrived at Master Jack’s location shortly after noon on a Tuesday.  As I had been warned, we proceeded immediately to the dungeon.  I found myself in a room which was familiar to me from the many pictures on Master Jack’s web site.  It was also strange to me!  Strange in that in all my previous ventures into dungeons I was the Master, now I was the slave.  This time that fascinating equipment lining the walls was not to be
used BY me but rather ON me!

Master Jack quickly reviewed my profile and asked me a few
questions.  To one of those questions I had no answer:  “How come after all these years as a successful Master you now want this bondage slave experience?” 

I was then asked to sign the contract that committed me to spend 24 hours in whatever form and degree of bondage Master Jack might specify.  I signed and knew that my own sense of honor as well as that “legal” obligation would commit me to fulfill the pledge! 

He ordered me to strip down to engineer boots and black leather chaps.  The “Yes, Sir!” response I gave him was, while unpracticed from my lips conditioned to utter the words of a Master, uttered with the sincere respect I already had for this obviously in-command man!  It was not hard to address him sincerely as ‘Sir’!

It was but a few seconds later that I found myself standing with a heavy black leather straight jacket being held in front of me.  I was then ordered to put my arms into the dark arm tunnels of that straight jacket.

It was one of those short moments in life which expand in the mind to hours of experience.  I felt for one second I was extending my arms into a deep and bottomless baptismal font and knew my baptism would be into slavery, then in the next I felt that they would extend through the black hole of that leather into another universe, a universe of slavery. 
The feel of that heavy rough leather as it crept slowly up my arms --- tough, powerful, restrictive!  The aroma of that leather mixed with a tinge of the sweat of previous prisoners --- pungent, threatening, again powerful!  I tried to absorb the feel and aroma of that leather into my being as it enveloped me.

And suddenly I felt a tightening as Master Jack, standing behind me, began securing that straightjacket around my upper body, finally binding my now totally leather-encased arms against my chest.  Though I knew more was to come, it was now clear that I was absolutely under Master Jack’s control, that I was losing freedom of motion and would lose more!  I was not yet totally helpless but it was clear I would soon be so. 
Helpless and forcibly secured; in total bondage!

Master Jack stepped away briefly to select an appropriate hood for his new and novice bondage slave.  Soon I felt more heavy black leather, this time sliding down over my head.  Vision lost!  In my own dark world!   I could still hear Master Jack but that and my breathing were now the limits of my world! 

He guided my body --- not an easy task since I am a large man and was disoriented by these exciting experiences --- to a different spot in the dungeon and ordered me to sit down.  I could only trust there was something to sit on --- but my trust in him was now great.  I sat.  I was quite sure I was now in the bondage chair so often pictured on Master Jack’s web site.  But now it was not just an interesting and titillating picture on a web site, it was my fate!  I was the prisoner!  I was the
victim!  I was the one destined to total bondage in that chair!

And I soon felt the straps tighten around my legs and another strap somehow further restricting my straight-jacketed arms.  And I was in total bondage!  Helpless!  My head encased in black leather, my torso restricted by heavy black leather, my legs in leather chaps, my feet in engineer boots --- only my genitals remained exposed to the world.

How strange it seemed, how ironic, that in what was destined to be one of the most intense private moments of my life nothing was public except my privates!

I could hear Master Jack step back to admire his work, as well he should!  An excellent job of thorough bondage!  I was tied up, in full bondage, helpless, a prisoner, and totally at his mercy!   I no longer owned vision or freedom of motion or control of my body; he had taken them and they were his! 

From experienced Master and man in full control of his life to absolutely helpless and fully leather-encased bondage slave and prisoner in less than fifteen minutes!  The truth was unavoidable: I was now a bondage slave!

I heard Master Jack step across the dungeon and a switch click.  Soon the dungeon was filled with the music of Alan Hovhaness. (Later Master Jack told me that many times there is no music, but through our correspondence he had learned of my love for pre-19th century Classical music.) This music was 20th century romantic and though Hovhaness is not my favorite serious music composer, the selection was somehow very appropriate to the situation I found myself in; Master
Jack had again shown excellent judgment in handling this novice bondage slave!

The next thing I heard through the music was the door to the dungeon opening and Master Jack advising me to “Have fun, boy!” --- and the dungeon door being closed and locked behind him.   The closing and locking of the door did not disturb me; Master Jack had assured me that he monitored the dungeon carefully from his work area and I had full confidence that he did so.  But “boy”?  How that emphasized the new status of this long-time Master and man significantly older than the man,
my Master, who so addressed me!  I had been deprived of my body, my vision, now of human contact --- and with that one word, the final stroke, my status as a man! 

Yes, I was deprived of many things at that moment.  But somehow I felt very secure in more than the bondage sense!  Though Master Jack had inflicted this heavy and total bondage on me and I was now his bondage slave, it was more as if I felt secure in his care, wrapped in his competence and enveloped in the heavy leather envelope of his sense of responsibility toward this new piece of property under his care.  I
was in total bondage, without physical freedom --- but, because of the trust I had in the man who had done this to me, I had a new freedom --- to explore this new experience in all its dimensions without worry or concern --- to obey his order to “have fun”!

I allowed my mind to float with the music.  My mind crawled down my leather-encased arms tightly bound against my chest by that straightjacket and felt free to explore each nerve ending and the responses it was sending out.  My mind explored my tightly enclosed head; it queried its responses to the utter darkness within; it smelled carefully of the heavy leather fitted over my nose; it quieted my until-then heavy breathing and calmed me; it explored the strange feeling of legs totally
restricted in motion.

And the music came to and end!  I could hear --- but there was nothing to hear!  Another contact with the world lost!  I was on my own! 

My mind continued to float, but not now with the music.  It floated in some dark space where it was the only inhabitant.  Soon I began to realize something new.  Master Jack had stripped away my ability to distract myself with free motion.  He had stripped away my vision.  He had stripped away my contact with the outside world.  He had reduced me to the core of my being: my mind, that mind floating freely in its own
space, my ‘self’, unencumbered and free!  I had found a strange new freedom in this experience of total loss of freedom!  I felt a sudden surge of increased respect and admiration for the Master who had done this not TO me but FOR me!  If I had screamed at that moment the words would have been “THANK YOU, MASTER JACK!”   But I didn’t
need to scream --- I think he knew!

Fortunately, for otherwise it would have been a disastrous moment and my screams might have been horrendous, I felt at peace with the self I found in that experience.  I felt I could live with the person I found there.  Indeed, I felt more at one and at peace with all of myself than at any other time in my long life!  I felt at peace with the Master within me and I felt at peace with the slave I was becoming for Master Jack.  I knew that I would not only make it through this experience but forever treasure it for it had given me a new insight into the meaning of ‘self’! 

Some time later I heard the dungeon door unlock and open and Master Jack stepped in.  When he asked if I might be doing ok my “YES, SIR!” was uttered with a new respect for this man who was now my Master.  I was now fully committed to be his bondage slave!  There was nowhere he would lead me I would not follow; no experience he might subject me to I would not endure!   Those statements might sound excessive and
rash but nothing less would reflect my feelings at that moment!

Whatever would come next, I would both welcome and endure it for him.  And I was soon to find out!  I heard him working briefly with some equipment and then felt his hands on my genitals.  I could easily draw on my experience and guess what would be coming next: electrostimulation!  And seconds later I felt the spasms of my genitals as current flowed through them.  Moments of masturbational pleasure followed be moments of throbbing pain and those followed by a brief respite and then variations of the same cycle over again.  At the height
of the cycle my body writhed against its restraints in pain.  At all points in the cycle the experience reminded me over and over and over again that I was the property, the prisoner, the slave of Master Jack! 

Again I heard him depart and I was left to endure the cycles of
electrical stimulation and pain for however long he might decide.  But I was now his bondage slave and this was but part of my proving to him that I was his slave and showing him the devotion due a Master from his slave!  Even through discomfort, it was a period of blissful realization of self!

Another visit from Master Jack.  He altered the setting on the
electrostimulation and again departed to let me adapt to this new assault on my genitals.

Another visit from Master Jack.  This time he asked me how long I thought I had been in total bondage.  I gave him my best estimate “around two and a half hours, SIR!” only to be surprised when he advised me it had been a little over four!   I was a happy bondage slave, not because I might soon be released for a break (I was) but because I had gone through the first step of proving myself worthy to serve this fine Bondage Master!

The strange discovery of ‘self’ that was at the center of this, my first total bondage experience, energized me in ways I did not understand until many days after my return home from my encounter with Master Jack.  During the remainder of that stay, it certainly motivated me and created a mood within me that made me receptive to all aspects of my new slave role.  This manifested itself in yet another way during my sleep period that night when slave T joined me in the dungeon to monitor me through the night.  We were both in variations of leg irons,
handcuffs secured to waist chains (and he, in addition, was wearing a muzzle).  For the first time in my life I experienced myself as a slave with another slave.  It brought home the reality of my new status.  The fact that my discovery of ‘self’ had made me comfortable with this slave status allowed me to express aspects of my slavery I might not otherwise have been able to do when with this delightful and personable slave belonging to Master Jack!  In a very real sense I let myself be a
slave to a slave --- and enjoyed it to the fullest!

My Master persona will forever be a critical part of me.  It is the life style I have lived and enjoyed these many years.  But Master Jack enabled me to experience other valued aspects of my being, not only the slave persona lurking within me but, even more important, the total complexity of the person living within me.  THANK YOU, MASTER JACK!

And to those of you who might read this and want a thoroughly
satisfying bondage experience, whether you are now Master or slave or simply unsure, I can speak with the assurance of one with many years of experience dealing with Masters and slaves that you will find none more competent, more trustworthy, more caring than Master Jack!  GO